Fancy Dress Party

(Costume Party)

Mountain Sky Guest Ranch — 1993

I am 22. I am tan, my hair is corn flower blond and just past my shoulders in a messy choppy layered cut that over all did nothing for me — but once in a great while would look fantastic.

There is a picture of me in the mountains of Montana. In a ridiculous polyester 60s or 70s dress with three other girls from the ranch.

My hair looks great, my skin is tan, my teeth look white. I look almost happy to anyone else that would look at that picture.

But, I see the awkward, the slight pull away from the group, even though out arms are entwined.

I see the not quite pretty one, I see the one who has no idea how her life will unfold, or how she will support herself, or how she will become educated, I see no sense of purpose, I see fear masquerading as a moment of hoped or expectance.

I see a girl lost.

I see me, hooking arms with 3 other young women who are wealthier, more educated, have family support.

They are not worried about being a chambermaid for life.

They are not alone, riddled with fears, and anger and sorrow.

But for that flash in time to anyone that might view.

I look almost part of the whole.