Mao Zedong Rising

rehash

Application Essay to Umass Boston / August 1993

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You want very much to fold me into this omelette you have cooking.

I can assure you that you do not want me on the fringe.

I have run with pirates since a young girl with skinned knees.

I have grown on mayo sandwiches, fried Cheerios, and powdered lemonade.

I first smoked a cig at 10, puffed on weed at 12, knew the power of vodka at 13, was given a key bump of coke at 14, and dropped acid at 15.

I wanted Neil Cassidy as my first boyfriend.

I have read Dostoevsky and Hesse, and Rand.

I understand just enough to be a danger to myself and others.

You don’t want me out here working as a waitress, sweating in kitchens.

I have notions and resentment and a quietude unnerving.

I have a rage so fierce grown men will turn on heel.

If you don’t get me on path to civility and a job with climate control. . .
I will burn this village to the ground.

I will lay waste to it all in a Zedong-type fashion.
A cult of personality like never before seen.

This girl wants an office job at 65 degrees year-round.

You don’t want me getting better with knives.
You don’t want this bitter to strengthen.

You only have this blink of time to fold me in soft to the mix. . .
you best take me now.

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― S.E. Bourne, Every Awful Thing: Flash Fiction and Poems