One Battery Down
FEB 10, 2025
Scared. Most of the pain is gone. There was no cancer. It was just fat and bone and causing primary aldosterone.
The endocrinologist has only ordered a few blood tests that I got last week and a few have still not been reported in.
I can’t get relaxed, though finally able to sleep on my sides again.
This weekend I did a ridiculous clearing of a storage unit that I opened in August with a wash of energy thinking I would store all and go through and have cleared by September- but the energy disappeared.
First of the month the storage bill came in and suddenly this past Friday it felt imperative to get the unit cleared.
Two hours Friday, back at it Saturday. Had all month to do it but snow and freezing temperatures threatened and I persisted and got it done.
Then read of over exertion after a surgery and internal bleeding.
Have note out to PCP. Mostly think I am fine.
Tired, and lonely and restless.
My friend who looked out for me — stayed until Saturday morning.
Was nice to have someone here.
I am lonely. Hard thing for me to admit.
Had a dream that my fairy godmother called to check on me. I was so happy to hear her voice and then upon waking the sad reality sunk in.
She is old. Almost 80. I think she must be going through her own issues to have had such a weird go at me those weeks ago.
She has a son and daughter in law and brothers and sisters.
There is nothing I can do for her — especially when I was and am still sick and exhausted.
But I miss speaking with her. Miss her advice.
My mother did come to me in two dreams over the years warning me of her harsh nature.
I didn’t like her when a child.
But she saved my life in 2014 — literally saved my life. For what end now — I have no idea.
My day dreams so strong- have floated away.
Every possible avenue for me now seems illness and mental anguish and sorrow.
A lonely life and one battery down.
