Life encapsulated
I just finished a death cleanse of my photo box. I have never been given to hanging art or photos on my apartment walls or even at the family home when I rented it out for us after my mother passed.
I like plain clean white or pale yellow walls, and I have rarely had even framed photos on a desktop or shelf and certainly never pictures in my office spaces over the years in the cube farms. Yet I love pictures of places, spaces, and even people in my life or bygone.
Today I have been on a journey to the past. It was a very sweet life at times. Indeed, few people get to have grown in the environment I did.
Yet it was an environment and a brain filled with so much angst and uncertainty it was rare that any time in space or place was relished in whole or in confidence and calm.
Today in looking at photos of my childhood, my family, my beloved Nana. . .the dogs and cats, and friends, I am at a loss as to when exactly it all took a turn for the worse.
Things were always shakey. My brain has always been in a spin, with no security or safe space.
But as far as I can determine, it was in 2007 that everything started to tangle beyond the pale.
