Sick
Sick. Have been in high panic all week.
Barely able to function.
In bed for days.
Moments of okay and then a plunge back into the deep.
My insides hurt.
My brain fries.
The worry plucks away like strings breaking on a guitar.
The LDN I will stop.
The GSH I will stop.
The Kloni ween I will continue.
I am tired.
Mistakes made at work. Calendar items confused.
The world outside of my bedroom is noisy.
I just want to sleep but have slept too much already and it is hard to get back there.
The dreams are all fraught.
There is no one to take it away.
No one to soothe.
I am to old for this.
My neck feels tight and the left of my back aches inside as if part of my innards and not muscles or bone.
I do nothing all weekend.
Nothing but try and sleep this terror away.
A walk on Sunday and then all starts again Monday.
I have to get this apartment clean.
Some order in my surroundings and order in my days.
It was starting to happen and the worm moon threw me for a loop.
I am tired.
