I dreamt I was in the house. New owners downstairs.
I had flown in through the window.
The beams, the paint, the wood trim, the views.
People talking. Further arguments over lots.
Always fighting over those lots.
The neighbor finds me in the bamboo
Your family and those lots . . . Crazy people. . . But you will be pleased to know all the new owners are even crazier.
The fights never stop in a spot like this. Especially in days like these.
It is all gone Sophie. It was never yours. Your family didn’t even want you. They didn’t want each other. Remember all the times you were not wanted.
I don’t know how you survived it. But thought you might find it funny that the fights persist.
I wake with a start, I think I am still in the house. I can see the wood flooring, the beams, the sunlight.
I am close to crying. The anxiety and sorrow and cortisol are coursing through.
Trapped in a sort of half asleep, half awake terror.
I hesitated to grab my iPhone. I felt sick as if dying. Felt I was dying.
Rolling over dizzy and nauseous to picking up this phone, it is almost 10am
The moon pull was strong last night
Those dreams so vivid.
