I am a million miles away in my mind in the terror zone.
Phantom memories stalking tight and suffocating.
Tortured long ago fears tiptoeing round the fold of my grey matter and soft shoeing down my esophagus to a place just under my breast bone.
The room is dark, and the iPhone screen is bright.
My thumb blazing out words on the screen.
My appetite is haphazard, and the world outside is filled with horror and beauty that floods me on my random trips outside.
Yesterday, 6 vials of blood.
Lyme and Epstein Barr, basic metabolic, immune markers.
Waiting results.
I managed to shower before going to the lab.
The streets seeming foreign to me.
The sky is clear blue and ominously cheerful.
My head filled with histories of fear, my audaciousness well buried.
